For those of you interested, 23 days until my birthday!! I know birthdays are only supposed to be for those under 23 and over 70 but I can't help it. I really like my birthdays. Especially now that I am over 50. I never thought I would say that. Over 50. Forty was my big upset. I like to have died when I turned 40. I even gave myself a 40th birthday party so I could control it. No black and no gifts. It was a great party. In fact the place I had it closed down the next week and is now Private Collections in Mobile. So many people came for that party. But I went into therapy for 18 months [until I ran out of money and figured out I wasn't as crazy as some of those other people!]. I had the best therapist! Alice Fredrick [recommended by my good friend Mary F]. She was the bomb! Wore the most beautiful clothes and her glasses always coordinated with her outfits. Beautiful silver hair. Just elegant. Looked like some one's elegant grandmother. Until one day someone in group said "F$$k you!" She looked up from her pad where was taking her notes on and said in her sweet voice, "F$$ you! sh**h##d!" I laughed until I fell off the couch. The other person was so taken aback they shut-up. She was glorious! I lost touch with her several years ago. I hope she is well.
Anyway my 50's are pretty much way better birthdays. I am still getting great gifts from my family. If my friends remember we do lunch or dinner and that is always fun. If they don't, I am now of an age where I don't care and don't get my feelings hurt. In the old days I would have been all pitty-party because they didn't care enough to remember it's my birthday, boo-hoo-hoo! That kinda crap. Now, I am just so happy they are able to remember!!
Isn't that funny. This is not what I set out to write about in the beginning. It is amazing where your thoughts and memories will take you.
Well, must stop now. The drugs are kicking in and I need to go to sleep so I can get up in time for lunch! Can't miss a meal.
More later.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
22 June 2009
Today is the second anniversary of my dad's death. I am sure many are tired of this subject, but it is one of great importance to me. I think I will tell you about some of the things that made James H. Nichols, LTC USAR, the man he was.
He taught me a lot of things. He taught me to cuss. My first cuss word was "Son-of-a-bitch!" They tell me I was about 2 when I learned this wonderful set of words. Dad was putting in an air conditioner in our house in San Antonio and was having a bit of a problem and forgot I was around. He also taught me to drink beer. He would pour me and the dog some beer in a bowl on a hot Saturday afternoon. I must have been about 3 or 4. Don't freak! The damn dog drank most of it!
Dad taught me how to change the oil in a car. He also taught me to change tires. He taught me this stuff so I would never have to depend on any one to help me. That has stood me in good stead. I have changed tires on the side of the interstate in Atlanta in the dark. I have changed the oil in many of my cars. I don't do this stuff anymore 'cause I am too old, fat, tired...you fill in the blank. But I know how to do it if I have to!
I learned that I can do anything I put my mind and heart into. Daddy always told Carole and I that we could do anything or be anything. That is pretty advanced for a man who grew-up in the 30's and 40's. But maybe that was because he was raised by a woman. His dad died when Daddy was 8. THAT is a sad story for another day!
My dad taught me to always fight for what I believe in. He would always say "If you believe it in your heart, fight until the bitter end." Sometimes I think I took it too far, but I have always tried to do that. He also taught me perseverance. Another of his favorite things to say was, "Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get to the top of the hill." That was how he carried out his life. He persevered until the end.
I don't think he ever gave up even in the end. His big old floppy heart just finally gave out. He fought as long as he could. He knew where he was going and was ready. He only waited for his wings to come and fly him home. And at 5:22 a.m. Friday, 22 June 2007 he made his last flight and flew home to his God.
I have a hole in my heart and soul that will never be filled. One day, Daddy, I too will fly away home. Please be there to meet me.
He taught me a lot of things. He taught me to cuss. My first cuss word was "Son-of-a-bitch!" They tell me I was about 2 when I learned this wonderful set of words. Dad was putting in an air conditioner in our house in San Antonio and was having a bit of a problem and forgot I was around. He also taught me to drink beer. He would pour me and the dog some beer in a bowl on a hot Saturday afternoon. I must have been about 3 or 4. Don't freak! The damn dog drank most of it!
Dad taught me how to change the oil in a car. He also taught me to change tires. He taught me this stuff so I would never have to depend on any one to help me. That has stood me in good stead. I have changed tires on the side of the interstate in Atlanta in the dark. I have changed the oil in many of my cars. I don't do this stuff anymore 'cause I am too old, fat, tired...you fill in the blank. But I know how to do it if I have to!
I learned that I can do anything I put my mind and heart into. Daddy always told Carole and I that we could do anything or be anything. That is pretty advanced for a man who grew-up in the 30's and 40's. But maybe that was because he was raised by a woman. His dad died when Daddy was 8. THAT is a sad story for another day!
My dad taught me to always fight for what I believe in. He would always say "If you believe it in your heart, fight until the bitter end." Sometimes I think I took it too far, but I have always tried to do that. He also taught me perseverance. Another of his favorite things to say was, "Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get to the top of the hill." That was how he carried out his life. He persevered until the end.
I don't think he ever gave up even in the end. His big old floppy heart just finally gave out. He fought as long as he could. He knew where he was going and was ready. He only waited for his wings to come and fly him home. And at 5:22 a.m. Friday, 22 June 2007 he made his last flight and flew home to his God.
I have a hole in my heart and soul that will never be filled. One day, Daddy, I too will fly away home. Please be there to meet me.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Another day in Paradise
I'm sitting in Mom's bed waiting on her to get out of the shower and decide what we are going to do about lunch. In my family we don't "eat to live" we live to eat! My dad would be eating breakfast and say "What are we going to do about lunch?" We planned trips around places to eat. On our trips to San Antonio Dad would say "We can stop in Baytown at Luby's or there is a Cracker Barrel next door to that motel we usually stay in." He would plan the food stops and we would plan the other stops. If we waited a while to eat he would get upset. "Well, I don't know what y'all are doing next, but I'm eating!"The man was a card. We could spend hours in a James Avery Silversmith store and he would look or sit on a bench, but don't be late with his food.
I am writing this because this Sunday is Father's Day and then Monday, 22 June is the second anniversary of Dad's death. That is a dumb way to put it. I think of anniversary's as happy times, as in marriages, not in terms of someones death. But what else do you call it? We should have another word. We have Memorial Day to honor the fallen soldiers from the War Between the States and now all wars. Maybe we should call the anniversary of someones death memorial day. We could say, "I'm going to the cemetery for Dad's second memorial day." Then you would know that Dad has been dead 2 years. Mom suggested celebration day. That it is a celebration that he is in heaven. I am not celebrating anything. It is a bitch that he is gone. I am not happy about it and never will be. Many days I don't think about him being dead and then every now and then it hits me like a sledge hammer to the gut. Some song will set me off and I will cry for hours. I know it is worse for Mom because she was with him for 58 years and then however many years before that that she knew him.
They always tell you after the death that time helps and it truly does. But it is still a bitch that can be as fresh as a knife wound. Sometimes I liken it to a paper cut. Paper cuts are little and don't bleed much, but move the cut the wrong way and it hurts like hell. That sums up in a very small way the pain of my dad's death.
Oh, yeah. We are having fresh tomato sandwiches with lots of mayo for lunch. With real Coke. No chips 'cause we are getting our salt on the fresh tomatoes. Did I mention they are fresh, vine-ripened tomatoes hand-picked by my friends, Janice and Angie? All I have to say is, umm-umm-umm good!
I am writing this because this Sunday is Father's Day and then Monday, 22 June is the second anniversary of Dad's death. That is a dumb way to put it. I think of anniversary's as happy times, as in marriages, not in terms of someones death. But what else do you call it? We should have another word. We have Memorial Day to honor the fallen soldiers from the War Between the States and now all wars. Maybe we should call the anniversary of someones death memorial day. We could say, "I'm going to the cemetery for Dad's second memorial day." Then you would know that Dad has been dead 2 years. Mom suggested celebration day. That it is a celebration that he is in heaven. I am not celebrating anything. It is a bitch that he is gone. I am not happy about it and never will be. Many days I don't think about him being dead and then every now and then it hits me like a sledge hammer to the gut. Some song will set me off and I will cry for hours. I know it is worse for Mom because she was with him for 58 years and then however many years before that that she knew him.
They always tell you after the death that time helps and it truly does. But it is still a bitch that can be as fresh as a knife wound. Sometimes I liken it to a paper cut. Paper cuts are little and don't bleed much, but move the cut the wrong way and it hurts like hell. That sums up in a very small way the pain of my dad's death.
Oh, yeah. We are having fresh tomato sandwiches with lots of mayo for lunch. With real Coke. No chips 'cause we are getting our salt on the fresh tomatoes. Did I mention they are fresh, vine-ripened tomatoes hand-picked by my friends, Janice and Angie? All I have to say is, umm-umm-umm good!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Whats'up!!!!???
I am sitting here in bed at my mother's house digesting my lunch. We went to church and then to lunch at this restaurant [what a misnomer!] we usually eat at on Sundays. It's called Perry's Store and is in the Perry's Store Community. The place is a disaster but the food is always good. Jo and I usually sit where we can see everyone that comes in so we can people watch. That usually means we are laughing and giggling. We don't point because that would mean we have to put our food down!
Tomorrow we start summer school so I have to go back to Mobile today. I still have to put all those kids names in the computer. I guess they think that is done by little elves at night! I have no clue what is going to happen and right now I am so over this whole situation. I don't want it to fail but I do want them to see that it's not as easy as administration thinks.
Anyway, I'll be back at Mom's Thursday afternoon for a long weekend. We are going to see Daddy Monday.
More later.
Tomorrow we start summer school so I have to go back to Mobile today. I still have to put all those kids names in the computer. I guess they think that is done by little elves at night! I have no clue what is going to happen and right now I am so over this whole situation. I don't want it to fail but I do want them to see that it's not as easy as administration thinks.
Anyway, I'll be back at Mom's Thursday afternoon for a long weekend. We are going to see Daddy Monday.
More later.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
10 songs on my iPhone
What 10 songs are on your iPod or Iphone? Are you willing to share that list. Title of song and artist? I'll start you off. This is in no particular order.
- 3 AM by Matchbox Twenty
- Wicked Game by Chris Isaac
- Whoop de Doo by Jimmy Buffett
- The White Cliffs of Dover by Vera Lynn
- Viva la Vida by Coldplay
- I Saw God Today by George Strait
- Crazy by Gnarles Barkley
- Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On by Jimmy Buffett
- Alright by Darius Rucker
- Follow Me by Uncle Kracker
So, what do you think? Are you willing to share?
WTF!!!!?????
I had this really cool post all typed up and ready to be delivered to the blog. I hit a button and that sucker just disappeared! In to fricken thin air. I am just tech smart to be dangerous.
So what have I been doing for almost a year that I couldn't blog? Living life as it happens, in full speed. I wish I could break it down, month-by-month, but that ain't happening. So, I will try to recall a few of the hi-lites.
In August I started back to work. I am a teacher who happens to be a librarian. I have not been allowed to do library stuff by the other librarian, who treats me lower than an aide. I have been to meetings where the librarians dress like hippie freeks and haven't a clue about compters, and I have worked closely with some who barely know what the black button with the white dot on the computer does. I think I would love my job, if I ever worked it. Right now I am finsihing the plans for summer school. I love teaching and working with kids, I hate the paperwork and bullshit teachers have to put if with.
I realize every business and company has some sort of bull attached, but I swear to God, they made it 10 x harder in Education!
More later!
So what have I been doing for almost a year that I couldn't blog? Living life as it happens, in full speed. I wish I could break it down, month-by-month, but that ain't happening. So, I will try to recall a few of the hi-lites.
In August I started back to work. I am a teacher who happens to be a librarian. I have not been allowed to do library stuff by the other librarian, who treats me lower than an aide. I have been to meetings where the librarians dress like hippie freeks and haven't a clue about compters, and I have worked closely with some who barely know what the black button with the white dot on the computer does. I think I would love my job, if I ever worked it. Right now I am finsihing the plans for summer school. I love teaching and working with kids, I hate the paperwork and bullshit teachers have to put if with.
I realize every business and company has some sort of bull attached, but I swear to God, they made it 10 x harder in Education!
More later!
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